where do I belong?

all my closest friends are dating. That's been a fact for a while now.

all my closest friends are either super seniors or graduated. That's been a fact that I've faced every since freshman year.

all my closest friends are either out of Epic or have only one foot in and the other foot is out.

I can't help feel left behind, even left out a lot of times.

Sometimes it feels pretty lonely, and confusing a lot of times.

where the heck do I belong?

I am left to bond with those of my year and younger and there is nothing wrong with that. I have been blessed to be able to bond and trust other people and have them be a part of my life. I am grateful for that.

And another fact is nothing and no one will replace my closest friends. No one ever can.

So that leaves me very split and confused.

I miss my best friends at times. And I feel like I'm missing out on hanging out with them or just being with them. It makes me feel left out. At other times, I am missing out on working on these relationships that have gotten closer and when I am with them, I'm just not as close to them so I don't feel as understood or safe or loved. I also feel left out here as well.

I feel like I'm a part of two separate communities.

I don't know. I may just be insecure in my identity in Christ and looking for worth in other things, in my friendships. If I am insecure, then I hate being insecure, it freaking sucks. Who knows? The point is, I feel lost and confused, I don't know where I belong and as a result of all of this I feel left out/left behind at times and I hate that feeling. It frustrates me so much.

I know I am loved in both communities or groups or w.e. they're called. But I feel so lost.

I just plainly don't know where I belong. I just plainly feel left out at times. That I am left behind.

Help me God...please...