I am feeling apathetic on everything. I can't get excited for anything at all. And it is frustrating me. It is making me really irritable.
I don't think I'm drained of anything but it's cuz i'm not on good terms w/ God so i'm not getting refueled. so i'm either bout to run on empty or I am empty.
It's so bad that I caught myself sometime last week about to minister to someone out of myself. Fortunately, I was able to catch myself be4 i started ministering and stopped the convo (which made me sad to do it cuz i haven't talked to this person for a while)
I don't think I should depend/wait on fall retreat but I can't wait for it. I hope I am able to find rest in God and also be willing to be still before God. I'm even excited to drive cuz for some reason, I can think/be at rest when I drive. I love driving...hehe.
I really don't know what I should be praying for or what my prayer request is. But I do want rest, I do want to be willing to be still and spend time w/ God, and I want to have that time w/ God.
Sorry for all the random thoughts and these two blogs of "complaing"/"pain"/w.e. but this is b/c I am not okay and I am slowly processing all of it.
Please bare with me as I go through all of this and I hope I am able to blog about this to the end so God may be glorified through all of this.
Thank you for reading, listening, and being there.
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hey gabe,
ReplyDeleteif you're ever interested, a great book on refueling yourself is:
Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion, by Wayne Cordeiro
it's good and practical. take it easy!
Thanks for sharing, even that you're not ok. I'm praying for you. I hope that fall retreat is helping you "rest"
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