it's basically the end of the winter quarter of my senior year in Davis. My last year in Davis.
In about 2 weeks and a half, the last quarter of my collegiate career, my last quarter in Davis will start.
I can't believe it. It's almost been 4 years. Time has gone by so fast.
This is not the way I wanted by senior year to be.
I do not want to end my time in Davis like this.
This is not the way I want things to be emotionally and relationally. I did and do not want to have gone through all of this pain, struggle, insecurities, and so much more emotionally and relationally this year.
I do not want to be where I want to leave Davis as soon as I can so I just can escape pain and painful memories.
I do not want to say goodbye this way. Even more, I do not want to say goodbye at all to some people. I want to end my senior year with a bang. With joy. With happiness. With gratefulness. With thankfulness. With satisfaction. I want to have those who I am closest to now to be my lifelong friends.
I want these friends, these people, these brothers and sisters, to be my lifelong friends. Those who I know and am known by.
I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want to desire to escape Davis. I didn't want my senior year to be like this. I don't want to be like this right now. This is not what I wanted emotionally and relationally.
Good thing I have another quarter right? Right? Right? I hope so...
God this is my heart and you know there is so much more that I am aware of and there is even more than that that I am not aware of. Lord help me to trust you and believe that You are good to me. That I am not alone and that it is good for You to be in control. May I trust in You, believe in Your goodness, have joy in You, and find peace in You. Above all, let me be me, let me be Gabe, and continue to make me into who You have made me to be and make me aware of what You are doing, of who I am, of who You are, and the great awesome things You have in store for me not just in Heaven but now as well. Be glorified O Lord and reveal your majesty and glory. Amen.
Help...
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Gabe, I hear you crying out, and I hope and pray that you will be able to end your college life well, and seek restoration of any possible relationships that need it. And seek the Holy Spirit to continue to transform not only your life, but the lives of those around you too.
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