gloriying God

I want and I desire so badly to glorify God with all I do, think, and feel. I even pray for this.

I have just recently learned that even though there is nothing wrong with this desire, it does not deal with anything about my motivation.

I may say that when I do this I hope it glorifies God but I now know that saying that means that glorifying God basically takes a backseat. That I do this thing for my own reasons and goals and hope that it also glorifies God.

This is all thanks to a convo I had with Hannah recently, quite recently actually.

In this convo, a new phrase came up, I don't remember from whose mouth, probably Hannah's, but it is I am doing this thing to glorify God.

This makes glorifying God the reason why I do things and puts God in the driver's seat of my life.

This idea seems so free-ing to me but this requires major trust in God, that Him being glorified may mean in things/results I did not expect/want and that takes major humbling.

It is gonna be so hard for me to really mean this saying and to trust God even more, if I even did in the first place, but I do want the reason why I do things to be that it is to glorify God or because it is glorifying to Him.

I want God to be truly first in my life b/c I know He is good and knows whats best for me. The problem is I don't trust that He knows what's best, I have problems trusting Him and I have no idea why and it hurts to know that I do not trust the God I love. that I don't trust my Daddy.

I pray, I wish, I desire for God to reveal to me the reason why and how I can trust Him (this is also hard cuz i usually try to figure things out myself). I want to glorify God. I want to do things to glorify Him or do things because it is glorifying to Him. I want to enjoy Him. I want to find satisfaction in only Him because only He can truly satisfy me.

Forgive me God for not trusting you, I pray that you reveal to me what's holding me back and guide me to be able to see your goodness and truly trust that you are good. May I do things to glorify you.