influence

anyways...i've been thinking about influence quite a bit lately.

i'm beginning to realize i influence a lot of people. some i influence directly and some is cuz i'm a leader and looked up to in a way.

i am so not used to being looked up to. I'm used to being the young one who does not really have to set an example for others in the ministry. but now, it is my responsibility. I gotta be honest, being a model for others is weird for me and hard. I'm not used to being the good example, an example of grace, love, truth, serving, and etc.

i've begun to notice that the people I do influence directly hold characteristics of myself and some I do not like. I see these people being mean at times, crude at times, violent at times too.

there has also been some people that have jokingly said that I am a bad influence and I have not taken any offense to these statements but it has made me think about the influence I am giving off.

I am not the young one anymore. I am a leader of a movement. I influence many people. I am being watched by others. Considering all this, what has been said, and what I'm noticing, I need to watch what I say and do.

this is going to be a challenge for me. what to change, what to stop, what to limit, and what to keep as my personality?

Lord help me. give me discernment. may I be more and more like You. may they see You and not me.