God's is up to something...

i swear...God is up to something in my life...i haven't had so many thoughts constantly wander in my head and have me blog this much in a long long time.

haha...i'm still on the song "God of this City"...it's amazingly a better song than i thought and i already thought it was a good song...but seriously...think of the title...it's God of this city...He's God...we're not...no dur right?

but obviously it's not a given, at least for me it's not. i'll admit, i've been worried bout Davis Epic, things are changing and our staff team got smaller with still no female staff and i've been hoping for a huge solid studly freshmen class this year to make up for the seniors that graduated, not that any1 can ever replace 'em, and also give me a breath of relief for the future.

but according to this song, i've been waaaaay too worried. been dependent/relying on people, in forms of new ppl plugging into Epic of all years and also a female staff, instead of trusting God and relying on Him. seriously, He's God of Davis, not me, not people. should be trusting God in all of this. that Epic will grow and continue to be a light and the salt of UC Davis and Sac State and actually look for God to do things and not for people.

so Lord, I pray, that You move, that I look to You and for You for all aspects in my life.

oh, and I also read part of James 1 today and it was hecka interesting. James 1 is a lot on persevering through trials and stuff and today my eye just caught on verse 4, "And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" and also verse 12, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." and steadfastness means something like being firm in faith, being unwavering in faith.

and i was like daaaaaaang. if i think life is tough now and i can barely be patient waiting for things to unravel, i'm in for a huge surprise cuz this test is my whole life. but wat is encouraging is that i don't have to be perfect in my firmness of my faith now, cuz it's something that has to take its full effect so it's not completely on me but also God, which should have been a given but it's not.

to be truthful, i had to look up steadfastness when i got home ( i read James at church), and at church, i thought steadfastness was waiting cuz the passage was about persevering, obviously i was wrong but i also learned from my mistake...hehe. cuz at first i thought it meant to wait patiently, to let everything including the waiting process to take its full effect. so that mistake reminded me to be even more okay with waiting and also helped me to try to start waiting patiently cuz i hate waiting.

so yea, Lord, once again, I come and pray that I am able to trust You w/ everything I am, including my faith in You, and I lift up everything in my mind and heart to Your hands. I pray that I am able to patiently wait for Your will to be revealed and to be done.

P.S. seriously, I am expecting something to happen cuz I haven't thought this much since project. ( I think)

P.P.S. Epic is hecka short on raising support for summer project overall. if you read this and are able to financially support them, please contact those who you know are going to project and all those who read this, join me and others in prayer for all of 'em to finish support and also to be ready for their own respective projects and for God to work in their lives like crazy.